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Tuesday, August 29th, 2006
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So like a whole month later and I'm still gettting random freak outs? Did you think I was playing when I said I can't take this? keep it up....and we'll both find ourselves in a real tough spot.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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AS some people have no concept of the idea of privacy and shared this entry with someone I was trying to keep it from, I might as well make it public now. Thanks a lot.
So cliche I know, but this is honestly how I feel. I promised myself I that I would stop using this thing for whiney bitchy emoness, or anger. And I promised that I would start using it instead for usefull blogging by pushing the depths of my analytical skills, and getting used to tedious proccess of writing that is to be my life if I think I can make it as a historian/lawyer. But alas, I lied and here I am again pouring my thoughts into this journal because I don't have anywhere else to say them. I usually just say whatever it is that I'm feeling, but these thoughts just maybe to damaging to be hashed out in reality.
Basically what has happened is that paradise has been lost, and I'm realising that yet again I live in a world that is ugly and decietful. I thought she was different, but she's just as crazy and decietful as the rest. I suppose it could be worse. The last time my girlfriend was being all crazy and hiding something it was, because she was secretly in love with a girl, across the country, and quite possibly my bestfriend as well. The latter came to be true much later, but I suspect it was going on long before she left. Things aren't that bad this time. She only told me she doesn't love me fully, and that she's been lying about how much she loved me for a while. That's not as bad right? At least she loves me? SO now I know that when she said "I love you" and I said "are you sure?" that the extra scrutiny was/is neccessary. And this really is almost just as bad. How can I trust you any more? How am I to know what you're just saying because you think it is what I want to hear, or because you really meant it? And if I can't believe you words, how am I to turst you actions either? What I did was within the limits of my love, what you did was out of spite to get back at me. And in the end it has worked, you've gotten back at me. Because now I really now why you did it, and that yet again you lied to me once more. And as we continue down this slippery slope, if you lied to me about your intentions, and reasonings, how am I to believe that you were even safe? This thought disgust me, as I would never do something like that to you. You took something that was supposed to be about us, and beautiful and made it ugly and perverse. I hope it was fucking worth it. And lets not forget you wonderfull behavoir this weekend. Lets not forget you hitting me continously as we walked out of the party because you demanded to leave, and then you pushing me down the stairs. Why all the anger? because I exposed you for what you are? A fraud? a fake? You action simply confirms these allegations. And it completely not fair for you to take this out on me. I don't desreve this. All I've ever done for you was try to make you happy. To help you feel comfortable being yourself and getting what you want and deserve. I know why this is happening, and I wan't to be here for you. But if you keep this up, I will have no choice but to leave you. SImply stated, I just can't take this.
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Subject: | Ralph Ried is Truly the devil |
| Time: | 11:37 am. |
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Give us back our country you, fake-ass christian wannabes!
Read More
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Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
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Back from NY. Got a tattoo, yesterday and it hurt like hell. Hit me up, and we'll party!
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Comments: Read 8 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
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Thursday, April 20th, 2006
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Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
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I ordered a computer the specs are as follows:
Case: X-PLORER CASE 420WATT BLACK/BLACK SIDE WINDOW ATXB8KLW-BK
Motherboard: GIGABYTE GA-K8NF-9 SC939 nVIDIA nFORCE4 DDR400 1PCI-Ex16 PCI-Ex1 3PCI Gbt LAN IEEE1394 ATX
CPU: AMD Athlon 64 X2 4200 DUAL CORE RETAIL BOX w/Heatsink & Cooling Fan
Memory: 1GB PC3200 DDR400 Samsung
Hard Drive: Western Digital 250GB 7200 RPM 16MB SATA-II WD2500KS
CDRW: SONY CRX320E 52X32X52 CD-RW Drive with 16x DVD-ROM Black IDE INT
Video Card: ATI RADEON X800GT 256MB DDR3 PCI-E x16 2DVI+HDTV
Sound Card: Creative Labs Sound Blaster X-FI Platinum Internal PCI Card 24bit 7.1 Retail
DVD-RW: Sony 16X DVD+RW/-RW DUAL LAYER Black Oem
I ordered it 7 days ago, and its still not here. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, March 11th, 2006
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I punched some guy in the face last night. First time I hit somebody in a real long time. It felt good, and its also good to know I pack quite the punch. I know the kid was drunk as all hell, but seeing him lying there face first after one hit, again felt good. He hit me first so it was in self-defense, yay no lawsuits!
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, March 8th, 2006
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Cute & Small Boobs
Raw score: 33% Big Breasts, 50% Big Ass, and 64% Cute! |
Thanks for taking the T and A and C test! Based on your selections, the results are clear: you show an attraction to smaller breasts, larger asses, and sexier composure than others who've taken the test.
Note that because you scored small on breasts but large on ass size, it might appear
you like girls bottom heavy. That's probably not the case. What's more
likely is that you notice curvy, voluptuous butts, and you don't like
big, fake boobs. Big real boobs are even worse because of the sag.
Anyway, my third variable, "cuteness" is a mostly
objective measure of how innocent a given model looked. It's determined
by a combination of a lot of factors: lack of dark eye makeup, facial
expression, posture, etc. If you scored high on that variable, you are
either really nice OR you're into deflowering teens. If you scored low,
you are attracted to raunchier, sexier, women. In your case, your higher than average score suggests you appreciate a cuter, nicer look. Kudos!
Recommended Celebrity: Hilary Duff, because she is the ultimate in cute! Especially since she lost that baby fat! | | |
My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: | You scored higher than 19% on tit-size | | You scored higher than 58% on ass-size | | You scored higher than 59% on cuteness |
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Friday, February 10th, 2006
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So today is Isom's 18th birthday, and as our tribal customs preclude, we're going to make merry with alcohol tommorow night. Come hang out. Its not going to be a big deal, but I expect to see you all there.
-Ronnie
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, January 26th, 2006
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The essay below is about the My Lai Massacre. Any academics out there, feedback is welcome. also if you want to proof it that'd be cool. I'm not turning it in untill 9am.
Ron Ridenhour exposed what might have been the worse atrocity of the Viet Nam conflict. His letter sent to top officials in the government, told an eerie tale of the slaughter of civilian men, women, and children, by American soldiers. The true horror of this lies not in the fact that there was an atrocity committed. People of other countries are senseless killers, not Americans. Unfortunately this is not the case, and the slayings of close to 500 Vietnamese people, on March 16 1968, were committed by US troops. A closer look is necessary so that we might learn what circumstances could have lead to such a massacre, because armed with this knowledge it might be possible to keep an act of such inhumanity from readily happening again. My Lai: A Brief History with Documents gives us the look at this event needed by providing a number of primary and secondary sources. From careful consideration of the evidence, we learn that the circumstances of the fighting in Vietnam created an environment where a massacre was inevitable.
When Charlie Company was deployed to the Quang Ngai Province in December of 1967, they where deployed to an area of South Vietnam that was known to be an extremely hostile and volatile area, where most civilians support the enemy. The first document I examined was written in 1970 and presents the findings of the Peers Commission, the official investigation headed by Lt. General William Peers. The document titled, “Military Situation in Quang Ngai Province” explains the enemy situation, gives background on Son My village and the people of the province, and also explains the enemy’s tactics and techniques. In this document, the first traces of a climate that would permit massacre appear. The total strength of the enemy forces in the province of Quang Ngai was thought to be around 10,000-14,000 men. According to the commission’s findings, “Members of the 48th LF Battalion reportedly lived with the local villagers in order to conceal their presence, often working as farmers during the day and fighting as guerrillas at night.” The 48th had suffered heavily during the Tet offensive, and at the time of the massacre it was estimated that there were only 200-250 of them in the area; however there were two other companies in the same area that occasionally helped them making the total number of guerrillas around 700. The government of Vietnam considered the people in the Son My area to be VC or VC supporters. The soldiers of Charlie Company found themselves in an area where anybody could be the enemy. How were the soldiers to fight, if they could not determine who the enemy was? The enemy’s tactics and techniques played heavily on this weakness. Preferring to remain invisible “The VC made extensive use of mines and "…,” which “In addition to the men…children, women, and old men…” placed overnight. It becomes clear now, that enemy was truly indistinguishable. The VC used mines to slow process to their controlled areas. However successful this tactic was, all it did was create hate and frustration at the unknown enemy.
The hate and frustration is directly linked to the trend of US solders to dehumanize the South Vietnamese, in their minds. The second document examined is a Testimony to the Peers Commission in 1970, by Michael Bernhardt. Bernhardt was a rifleman with the 2nd Squad of the 2nd Platoon who did not take place in the killing of the day. In his testimony to the commission Bernhardt, describes the attitudes of the average GI. According to him the root of the problem is rooted in language, because, “…a person loses a certain aspect for being valued as a human being if you cannot understand them…” He goes on to say, “…since the Vietnamese were speaking something that we could not understand, [US soldiers] felt that they weren’t communicating with anyone.” With such attitudes the norm among soldiers, atrocity is to be expected. If you don’t consider someone human, it opens the gates for murder, rape, and brutality towards them, a well observed fact from the African-American experience in America. Such beliefs were no doubt made worse by the officers, Bernhardt tells of a time after failing to communicate with Vietnamese civilians, ”After that time Lieutenant Calley said to me that “the old man” says –which could mean any “old man,” the company commander, the battalion commander – said that if they don’t stope when you say “dung lai,” you shoot them.” Civilians not stopping due to a failure to communicate may not seem like a reason to be cautious until one thinks that the enemy could be anybody. In this environment of fear and hatred with an invisible enemy, a paranoia arose which combined with American dehumanization encouraged by officers, cultivated the climate of massacre.
Lieutenant William L. Calley was commander of Charlie Company’s 1st Platoon. Calley was known to not be able to read maps or carry out basic operations, and was generally considered to be a bad leader. Despite his ineptness Calley was made a platoon leader because of a shortage of officers. Calley is the subject of the third document, “Testimony at Court-Martial” which took place in 1970. This third document shows how the “climate of massacre” leads to the killing of 500 South Vietnamese. Calley believed that “…all orders were to be assumed legal, that it was a soldier’s job to carry out any order given to him…” Calley believed he was following orders given to him by Capitan Medina when he was slaughtering innocents, because in a briefing the previous night Medina said that people in the area were the ones hurting US soldiers and that it was time to start treating them as enemies. According to Calley he was told to “neutralize My Lai (4) completely…,” by Capitan Medina and he interpreted the the instructions as ”…it was our job to go through destroying everyone and everything in there” The company was told that all civilians had left the area and Calley believed that to the T. When he was killing women, children, and old men he thought he was killing the enemy and was thus right in doing so. Calley elaborates in his testimony, “I was ordered to go in there and destroy the enemy…I did not sit down and think in terms of me, women, and children. They were all classified the same, and that was the classification that we dealt with, just as enemy soldiers, sir.”
So why did a massacre occur on the morning of March 16, 1968? One theory is that the military situation (faceless enemy and their tactics), and the dehumanization of the South Vietnamese created an environment in which massacre was inevitable. It is important to parallels between then and now. We are in a military situation now very similar to Vietnam. We are facing a faceless enemy that blends into the local populace, and uses similar guerilla tactics like those used by the VC, in a war that knows no borders. The prison scandle at Abu-Grav, shows that American forces have dehumanized the enemy. If the US Army didn’t learn its lesson in Vietnam, it might get its second chance soon.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, January 13th, 2006
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Monday, January 2nd, 2006
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Did I mention there'd be two kegs?
heh. I don't remember New Years so I can't really tell you guys about it. I think I had a good time. Anyways lots of errands to run to get things ready for tonight. I hope to see you guys there. Call me bitches.
oh yeah, go DAWGS!!!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, December 30th, 2005
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Paige is finally tunring 21 and we're doing it up right. That's right, dress to impress. You can do formal or not so formal but dress it up. Ladies look hot and gentelmen be pimpin. Everyone bring their left over alcohol from New Years and be ready to PARTY!!!!
Hit me up for info!
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Sunday, December 25th, 2005
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Lets have plans all day, then all of a sudden change them, and then lets not invite the boyfriend along. And then, lets call back and invite him, because that shouldn't make him angry anymore.
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Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, December 17th, 2005
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| Subject: | HELP! |
| Time: | 8:16 pm. |
| Mood: |  frustrated. | | Music: | untitled- Ronnie Darko feat MC dosan. |
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If anyone knows how to export audio from Cubase SX I could use some help. I might even give you a sneak peak of the track. c'mon you know you want to here it.
-Ronnie
*edit* Operator error. maybe I hit that blunt a few too many times last night.
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Thursday, December 8th, 2005
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
sh0ter's journal
drained.
apathetic.
determined.